


everything that ever was (i might lose)

by tonystarkismyreasontolive



Category: Iron Man (Movies), Marvel, Marvel Cinematic Universe, Spider-Man (Tom Holland Movies), Spider-Man - All Media Types, The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Angst, Angst and Feels, Angst and Tragedy, Angst with a Happy Ending, Gen, Heavy Angst, How Do I Tag, Hurt Tony Stark, I Wrote This Instead of Sleeping, If I Stay AU, May Parker (Spider-Man) Dies, Parent Tony Stark, Peter Parker Needs a Hug, Protective Tony Stark, Seriously this is painful, This Is Why We Can't Have Nice Things, Tony Stark Acting as Peter Parker's Parental Figure, Tony Stark Has A Heart, Tony Stark Needs a Hug, WHY DOES THAT NEED TO BE TAGGED, You Have Been Warned, hmmmm lets see, this is a rewrite of my earlier fic of the same name
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-03-02
Updated: 2020-05-27
Packaged: 2021-02-27 19:09:35
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 5,062
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22990750
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/tonystarkismyreasontolive/pseuds/tonystarkismyreasontolive
Summary: The last thing Peter remember is the music. Even after the crash, even as the metal creaks and as people are shouting, he can still hear it. One wouldn’t think the radio would work, not after a crash like this.A car accident late at night leaves Peter sitting next to his body not knowing how to back into it as the doctors rush to save his life. And as all those who love him sits in the waiting room, all he can do for the next coming twenty-four hours is to wait. Wait and decide. Peter thinks of the life he had before the accident and the future he will have to face after it. That is, if he stays.A rewrite of my If I Stay AU. It’s breaking my heart even more this time around.I am not promising any scheduled updates because my mental health is shit, but I will try.
Relationships: Happy Hogan & Peter Parker, Michelle Jones & Ned Leeds & Peter Parker, Michelle Jones & Peter Parker, Ned Leeds & Peter Parker, Pepper Potts/Tony Stark, Peter Parker & James "Rhodey" Rhodes, Peter Parker & Pepper Potts, Peter Parker & Tony Stark
Comments: 55
Kudos: 136





	1. Chapter 1

The last thing Peter remembers is the music. Even after the crash, even as the metal creaks and as people are shouting, he can still hear it. One wouldn’t think the radio would work, not after a crash like this. Not as they were hanging upside down, and Peter couldn’t move, and May’s face was covered in blood. But somehow it does. AC/DC is playing from the banged-up radio, it sounds warped and far away, but he can still recognise Back in Black. It reminds him of Mr. Stark. _Tony._ Peter only really calls Tony 'Mr. Stark' to annoy him. As Brian Johnson sang about being back in black, Peter thinks of afternoons and weekends in the lab, of an arm around his shoulder and a hand messing up his already messy curls. He thinks of the words “Good job, kid”, the smell of motor oil, and drifts of with a sense of safety despite the sharp, pulsating pain in his side.

Tony Stark was about to set fire to the blueprints he was drawing up. No matter what he did it, always seemed there was something off and even when he asked F.R.I.D.A.Y. for help it didn’t work. He feelt as if the answer was just out of reach, but he never managed to catch it. He was frustrated, he was annoyed, even tired. It was only two in the morning, but Tony was tired. He was weighing the pro’s and con’s for making another cup of coffee instead of going back to sleep, as he knew Pepper would have made him do if she was home. When his phone rang, he dropped the empty coffee mug he was holding on the floor. He swore as he grabbed the phone. He considered not answering – he really was tired, and in about fifty different ways not in the mood to talk to anyone. However, this was his private cell, and there were only so many people who had this number – none of who he would ever ignore. He decides against another cup of coffee, then picks up the phone.

“Is this Mr. Tony Stark?”

“Yes, who is this?” He asked, a little impatient as it was clear this was not a call from anyone who should have this number.

“This is Dr. Nguyen at the Queens Memorial. There has been an accident, we need you to come down to the hospital as you are listed as an emergency contact for…”

Tony didn’t hear how the sentence ended, his ears where ringing in terror. A hundred scenarios run through his head. Pepper, Happy, Rhodey, who was…. Wait. Had she said _Queens_ Memorial? Oh god, Peter.

“Sir, are you still there?”

“Yes.” Tony cleared his throat and tried to swallow the fear. “Yes, I’m here. What happened?”

“Like I said, sir, there has been an accident involving May and Peter Parker. Now you are listed as Peter's second Emergency Contact, is that correct?”

“Yeah, that’s true. What- what do they need? What can I do?”

“At this moment it would be best if you came here so I could talk to you in person, would that be possible?”

“Of course, I’m only upstate. I will. I could. I- I’m on my way” Distantly, Tony thought that he could have been in the President’s office in front of the whole country and he wouldn’t have thought twice before leaving.

So, he takes the suit. It was the only rational choice really, he didn’t have time for traffic. His mind was an endless stream of _Peter, Peter, please dear god not Peter_ as he rushed through the air towards the hospital. He lands right outside the hospital and starts walking inside before the suit has even started to disassemble around him. He rushes inside and is met with stares, whispers and concern. He ignores them all and makes it to the front desk. Without as much as looking at the nurse in front of him in favour of scanning the hallways, the gives her his name and then asks for Peter. He could distantly hear the panic in his voice, but he couldn’t care less. The nurse at the reception does a good job of hiding her shock, but the nurse she rings over does not.

Tony is led through the white maze of endless corridors and elevators until he is met by Dr. Nguyen, who looks at him with sympathy so strong Tony can almost touch it. The fear he didn’t think could strike deeper does just that.

_Please don’t let him be dead._

“Where is he?”

“Mr Stark, come in, they brought him in half an hour ago. He has lost a lot of blood.”

“Is he alive?”

“Yes, sir, but you have to understand –“

“Can I see him, please?”

The doctor started leading him to a waiting room. “Both Peter and his aunt will be put here at the ICU, they are currently in surgery, but you can see him as soon as he gets out.”

Tony felt helpless, he felt helpless in a way he hadn’t since his mom had passed away. He looked up a that doctor and asked what had happened.

“We think it was because of the snow. It melted to the asphalt as soon as it landed and froze, causing a thin layer of ice. The car started spinning out of control and from what the witnesses said, it seems like Peter grabbed the wheel and swerved off the road to avoid hitting a car with small children. Doing so most likely saved that families life.”

A small part of Tony wanted to scream, why, why, why must Peter always save everyone. But he knew Peter would always put others first, and while it scared Tony, it was also one of the things he loved most about Peter – his will and instinct to always help others even at risk of himself.

He sunk down in one of the chairs in the mostly deserted waiting room, and that's when reality set in. Peter and May had been in an accident. They were both laying on operation tables. They might not make it. This couldn’t be happening; _this couldn’t be happening._ But it was, and Tony couldn’t breathe. His chest contracted and his skin crawled as he tried to fight of the panic attack. He put his head in his hands and tried to block out his surroundings and only focusing on his breath. Once he felt in control of his lungs he tried to think. As much as he hated to admit it, he shouldn’t be here alone. He needed someone to be here, but who? Pepper was in Paris, Rhodey in DC, Happy was… Happy was here in New York. Tony could call him.

It took him a few breaths to make sure he wouldn’t hyperventilate as soon as he started talking, then he fumbled with his phone and dialled Happy’s number.

“There was a rustling on the other side. “Boss? What’s going on? You _are_ aware that it is past 2 a.m. and some people actually sleep at this time.”

Tony couldn’t get anything but a choked sob out, but Happy’s irritated tone disappeared immediately. “Tony? What is it? Is everything alright?” He sounded more awake and a hell of a lot more worried.

“Peter, it’s… there has been an accident. I’m at Queens Memorial, could – could you…?” The rustling on the other side of the phone increased and Tony figured Happy was getting out of bed.

“I’m on my way. Is he okay? Is Peter okay?” Happy sounded as if someone had taken a fire axe to the stomach, which was pretty much how Tony felt.

“I don’t know, he’s in surgery. They won’t tell me anything.” Tony hated the desperation in his voice.

“Aren’t you Tony Stark? Since when has anyone ever stopped you?”

Tony wanted to tell Happy that this was different. That it didn’t matter what his name was, or what he had done in the past, or how many walls he had broken through. All he was now was someone with their kid – their whole world – lying on an operating table, with no clue if they were going to make it. He couldn’t make the words come out of his mouth but despite that Happy seemed to understand.

“It’s okay Tony, I’ll be there soon. Try to hang on. For the kid’s sake”

For the kid’s sake. For Peter's sake. Tony could do that. He could do anything, if it would help the kid. He took a deep breath, then another. He wouldn’t panic. He couldn’t panic. Not now. Not when Peter needed him.

_God, kid. Please survive. I can’t lose you._


	2. Chapter 2

Was he dead?

Peter couldn’t help wondering that. It seemed like the obvious conclusion. The whole staring-at-your-own-unmoving-body really felt like it was the end. It was probably the end. He stood there and just stared at himself. Waiting. Waiting for the inevitable. Waiting for the white light or whatever was to come. Waiting for _anything_.

Nothing happened. Peter took a close look at himself; he could barely recognise himself, there was so much blood, and there was a hole – a fucking hole – in his stomach. Peter was torn between a morbid fascination and wanting to throw up. Could he even throw up? God there really should be a guide or at least a handbook for this not-quite-dead-hanging-around-in-limbo-or-whatever thing.

For now, all he could do was stand next to his body where it was lying on a stretcher where there were nurses and EMT personnel rushing him through the halls of the hospital.

A team of doctors ran up to meet them, “What have we got here?”

“Collapsed lungs, broken ribs, brain contusion, full extent unknown, a raptured spleen, and an internal bleed. He was also impaled so he’s got a through and through hole in his abdomen, but it seems to not have hit any vital organs” the EMT replied

“Let’s not jump to any conclusions before we got him on the table.”

One of the younger doctors looked at the mess that was Peters body. “How is he still alive?”

“I don’t know but I rather not question it.”

“Alright, let’s prepare Operating room three and get him there as soon as possible, we’ve got to remove the spleen, drain the lung make sure no internal organs got damaged but the pole, and stop the internal bleeding. If he wants to live, he better start fighting.” The doctor who seemed to be in charge ushered them in behind white doors and Peter narrowly slid in between the doors before they closed. He didn’t really want to test if he could pass through walls just yet.

He got into the operating room along with two young doctors who were already in gowns and mouthguards ran to his side and started to hook him up to various machines. And as the other got ready one of the doctors, a kind looking woman, leaned down near his head and whispered to him.

“Here’s the secret baby, you control this whole thing. If you live, if you die. It’s all up to you. So whatever fight you’ve got in you, you better pull it out now.”

This was the second time he had heard them say that, that he needed to fight. But how in Thor’s beard was he supposed to fight? He was just laying there on a table with cords and tubes every where and a bloody body. He didn’t see how he could affect any of this.

Then Peter saw the instruments being laid out and… was that a saw, _was that a saw_? He decided he rather not be here to watch them cut him up or, even worse, saw him up. He slipped out of the doors just in time to hear the doctor that entered give an order to the nurses who stood outside.

“Track down his relatives please.”

One of the nurses started to say he would get to that right away but the other one interrupted him. “His aunt is on the way to OR two now”

Peter didn’t hear anything else after that. He ran out of the operation room just in time to see May being wheeled away on a stretcher. She didn’t look too bad. She would make it.

Peter sighed in relief. She would make it. He would make it. Everything would be fine.

Peter started walking through the halls unsure of what to do now when he heard someone saying his name. In a room to his left he saw a doctor and nurse talking quietly about him and Peter thanked his improved hearing for still working.

“Peter Parker, let’s see if he has anyone else listed as next of kin, we should try to inform everyone we can.” The nurse stood behind the man quickly filling in a one of those clips with information about a patient Peter had seen in movies.

The nurse pulled out his medical record on the computer and then he froze, blinked a few times, looked again, and gave the doctor a confused look. “He has Tony Stark listed as his emergency contact.”

The doctor, Dr. Nguyen according to her name tag, looked over the nurse’s shoulder. “Is there a number for him?”

“Yes,” the nurse replied, “but it can’t be true, why would this kid have Iron Man as an emergency contact.”

“Well apparently, he is, if he is written in and we are provided with a number we have to contact him. You know that.” Dr. Nguyen said pointedly.

When the nurse made no move to call the number, but instead looked like he wanted to continue arguing Dr. Nguyen gave him a cold glare and picked up the phone. It only took a few minutes for her to get an answer and Peter heard her ask if it was Mr. Stark on the other side. Peter held his breath as Dr. Nguyen asked if Tony could come down. But she didn’t seem to get an answer, and if she did, she didn’t give away what it was, just walked away with another cold glare at the nurse.

Peter started walking through the halls of the hospital, not knowing what else to do while waiting for himself to get out of surgery. Peter still couldn’t wrap his head around it, he were laying on an operating table, too beaten up to be alive, but he was also in the hallway two floors up standing in front of a vending machine wondering if he could get himself a Cherry Coke. It was at least ten levels of weird. And Peter had a long-standing relationship with weird. First a radioactive spider, then being Spiderman, then meeting Tony, stealing Captain Americas shield, Liz dad being the Vulture, aliens invading earth, turning to dust, coming back from being dust. Yeah, Peter Parker and weird were far from strangers.

Realising he was not, in fact, getting that Cherry Coke Peter walked over to the big windows lining the hallway, and sat on the windowsill. Thank God (Thor?) for old buildings and their thick walls. A red and golden blur caught Peters attention, and when he looked closer, he saw him. Bursting out of the Iron Man suit was Tony Stark. Peter felt his knees buckle in relief; he was here. It was the middle of the night and Tony had been working on something the president had asked for that was “a national security matter and no Peter you do not need to know”, but he was still here. He had taken his suit and flown from the compound to Queens because Peter had gotten in a car crash. When Tony disappeared in in the hospital Peter started running.

He made it to the ICU waiting room about the same time Tony did. He looked like a wreak and when the nurse left, he started hyperventilating. Peter had never seen Tony like this, not even when Peter became dust. Peter thought that he would give up anything to take that look from Tony’s face.

He kneeled in front of Tony. “Hey Mr. Stark, it’s Peter, can you hear me?” When Tony didn’t reply Peter tried again. “Tony, please, I’m right here, I’m right here Tony, it will be okay”

Peter held on to Tony as he continued talking. “I bet you are really angry at me right now. I just broke your number one rule for me, ‘don’t get dead’. I mean I’m not dead I guess, not technically, my body is on an operating table and that is just weird as fuck – but I’ll pull through and then you can yell at me all you want and we –“ Tony suddenly looked up and Peter thought for a second that he’d heard him but then Tony dragged a hand over his face and picked up his phone. Peter didn’t have time to see who Tony called, but he was glad Tony was calling someone. He shouldn’t be here alone, Peter knew Tony hated hospitals and just as for Peter not-knowing, was always the worst part. Tony hanged up the called, and Peter could only hope that someone was on their way. While they waited Peter sat down next to Tony and started talking about Star Wars and his theories, not knowing if he was trying to comfort Tony or himself.

When Happy arrived an hour later, Peter decided to take another walk to give them some privacy. He walked past another vending machine and he really wanted that Cherry Coke, but he knew that even if he could go through the machine, he would not be able to grab it let alone drink it. And that, he decided, was entirely unfair. So, since Peter had time, seemingly nothing but time, he decided he would walk through the entire hospital. Peter actually liked walking, he liked the monotony of it, it calmed him, and since he was invisible, comatose, in limbo and possibly dead soon, he decided he could use something to calm him down.

When he came back to the ICU he was out of surgery and in a horse-shoe-shaped room with a dozen of beds and an army of nurses. Two in particular kept coming over to him to check on his vitals. One was a young man who was grumpy and probably over-worked and the other was a red-haired woman who reminded him of both Pepper Potts and Bruce Banner. Which to him translated to kindness and don’t-make-them-angry. She straightened his already neat bedsheets and then Dr. Nguyen came in and asked how he was. Peter decided that it felt _very weird_ to have people talk about you when you were in the same space. Or well, sort of in the same space.

The Pepper-Bruce nurse read up his vitals and they talked for a while longer before Dr. Nguyen look directly at Comatose Peter.

“Poor kid has really been through it”

“Yeah and this is the easy part. His aunt died on the table. The swelling in her brain got too big. And apparently, he’s parents died in a plane crash when he was five. Talk about bad luck. Poor kid’s waking up an orphan. _If_ he wakes up.”

First Peter didn’t understand what they meant but then, all at once it came crashing onto him. May was dead. _May was dead._

Peter screamed, cried and begged, _begged_ to wake up. This couldn’t be real; it couldn’t be real. Aunt May couldn’t be gone. She couldn’t be gone.

But she was, and Peter stopped breathing.


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> longer chapter coming soon. thank you all for your patience

It was snowing, which in New York meant there was a natural disaster. Everything had stopped, schools, some offices, traffic. The traffic really was a mess, even for New York, even for New York when it was snowing and December. Peter and May were on their way home from watching Rockefeller Centre light up their Christmas tree. The tradition to go there and have freshly baked gingerbread cookies had started when Ben and Richard were kids. Even if it was only May and Peter left now, they still went every year. Peter was glad that they did, they didn’t have many traditions, so the ones that they had he cherished. He knew it was hard for May to take vacation days from the hospital but when it was Peter’s Birthday or the day the Rockefeller Centre lit up their tree, she always had the day off.   
The snow was falling heavier while Peter sang along to AC/DC while May teased him about turning into Mr. Stark. Peter knew she hadn’t liked him to begin with, not with how he had gotten Peter into this lifestyle. But after she had yelled her fill at him, she sat down and actually talked to the man, and as she told Peter “she found she quite liked him”. In the past three years since Tony Stark first came into their life there had been dinners, holidays, game and movie nights, and weekends at the compound. Their lives had fallen together like puzzle pieces and now May and Peter were a well-integrated part of the Stark family.   
There were talk of him and May spending Christmas with Tony, Rhodes, and the very pregnant Pepper, but nothing was decided yet. Peter hoped they would though, as much as he loved May and spending time with her, having a Christmas that big was something he always dreamed of. With trees, decorations, real Christmas dinner May hadn’t (failed) to make, and people around to have snowball fights with. He daydreamed about this as he watched the snow.  
The snow stuck to the windshield and the road making it a little harder to drive and when May lost control of the car for a second but gained it back just as fast, Peter said that maybe it was safer if he was driving. May laughed and looked over at him and looked like she was about to say something back when a cold rush ran through Peter’s spine. Less than half a second later the car slid on the snow that melted into ice on the road and started spinning. It all happened so fast, but Peter felt like it passed in slow motion. The car spun, and Peter barely had the time to act when he saw their car quickly spinning towards the side of the car that had previously been in front of them. Three kids sat with their eyes wide looking at their car and Peter knew; he knew that they wouldn’t have time to react. But he did, he had that millisecond extra, so he grabbed the wheel that May desperately clung to and turned it sharply to the right. The car crashed into the roadside-railings and the car flipped and rolled until they came to a sharp halt. Peter vaguely registered that they were hanging off of one of the road-bridges. He tried to turn his head, but he couldn’t. He looked at May, her face covered in blood fingers reaching towards him before his eyelids dropped closed and he drifted away to the beat of the music and people screams.


	4. Chapter 4

Happy and Tony had sat in silence since Happy came. Peter was out of surgery, but Tony wasn’t allowed to see him yet and he was nervously shaking his thigh. Somehow this was almost worse than waiting for the surgery to be over. Peter was _there_. Somewhere only a few rooms away. He was there and Tony couldn’t get to him and his hands were shaking with the need to see him, the need to know he was okay.

Happy seemed calm where he sat next to Tony, but Tony could see the nervous flick of his fingers around his phone. Tony didn’t know what Happy was doing but he breathed in the silent comfort of not being alone. So, there they sat, drinking shitty hospital coffee, nervous energy exuding form them both in waves when Dr. Nguyen came up to them. She had a tight expression on, the kind of expression Tony had seen when someone had died. Tony went through about three kinds of heart attacks before Dr. Nguyen told them May hadn’t made it through surgery. The fear in Tony’s chest was replaced with a split second of relief. It hadn’t been Peter. Peter was still alive. Then it sank in. May was dead. Peter’s only living relative was dead. He was alone.

Of course, Peter wasn’t alone, Tony knew. Peter had him, he had Pepper and Happy and Rhodey. He had Ned and Mj. He wasn’t alone. But Tony knew how close May and Peter was. He knew how much it would hurt Peter, and how the rest of them might not be enough.

Happy stood up, visibly shaken, and excused himself and Tony was left alone with his thoughts. There was so much fear, relief and guilt built in Tony’s body that he didn’t know what to do with it all. Fear for Peter, for his survival and how the world would look for him when – if – he did. Relief that it hadn’t been Peter who had died. Guilt for feelings that relief. He was so caught up in those feelings he didn’t panic when nurses and doctors rushed. Not at first. It wasn’t until he heard the name “Parker” and the words “cardiac arrest” that the panic came. And when it came it swallowed him whole.

When he finally managed to get someone to talk to him, to tell him what happened, he was told that Peter had indeed gone into cardiac arrest. His heart had stopped. They had managed to restart it, sure, but all Tony heard was that Peter had died. _He had died_. For three full minutes he had lived in a world where Peter didn’t exist any longer. And that’s when the realisation that Peter really truly might die really hit Tony. He might have to live in a world without Peter. How would he do that? How would he live without late nights in the lab, Peter’s endless rant and that slow smile? He would, somehow, he would, but he didn’t think he would ever be able to breathe the same again. What is there left to do, what can you do, when your child has died. What do you do as a parent? How do you breathe?

Tony felt himself disappear, disintegrate right where he sat. He knew it was just dissociation. From all his years of therapists, PTSD, and depression he knew what was happening when it happened. He could fight it off, he knew how to, but now he couldn’t find it in himself to care. He’d rather be numb right now, rather be numb than feel all this pain and fear.

He sat there, not knowing how much time had passed – Happy still hadn’t come back so it couldn’t have been too long – he sat there until he couldn’t feel his body, he sat there until he couldn’t feel at all. Somewhere, far away, he could hear AC/DC playing but he didn’t pay attention to it. Until eventually an elderly lady came up to him.

“Sir, I believe your phone is ringing. Someone has been trying to reach you for near fifteen minutes, maybe you should pick it up.” Tony nodded without really processing what she had said and answered the phone.

“Tony!” Pepper’s voice cut him out of his daze, “Happy called me, I’m boarding a plane back right now, I’ll be there as soon as I can. Please hang on Tony, I’m sure everything with be alright. Peter is a strong kid – he will pull through.”

“Pepper,” Tony felt all his worry and fear collect to a gigantic lump in his throat. “Pep.”

“I know honey, I know. Everything will be alright. I know that because I know you will fight death itself if it means Peter will survive. How his he? Have there been any news? How’s May?”

Tony’s chest imploded as he tried to come up with what to stay to Pepper. She and May had been remarkably close – Tony new they thought of each other as sisters.

“She – she didn’t make it. I’m sorry Pep”

At first, he didn’t get a response, and then Pepper spoke up, voice strangled but strong. “I am sorry too –“ he could here her take a deep breath, recollect herself “– all we can do now is take care of Peter the best we can. How is he?”

His heart ached for Pepper, strong, loving Virginia Potts who collected all of the grief and worry she must be feeling so she could be there for Tony, for everyone. He could live a hundred lifetimes and never deserve her.

“He is comatose for now; they say they’re optimistic, but his heart stopped Pep. He was dead for three minutes and I couldn’t do anything. He – he died, _he died_. What am I supposed to do if he doesn’t wake up? What do I...? How am I…? How am I supposed to _live?_ If he doesn’t wake up Pep, how can I live? _He’s only seventeen, he can’t die._ Please Pepper, he can’t die.”

“Tony, Tony – Honey, breathe, _breathe._ Peter isn’t going to die. He’s _not dying._ He has survived so much; he will survive this too. He would never give up. And no matter what happens you will survive, we will figure it out, all of us. But he will make it.”

“Yeah –“ Tony took a deep breath and tried to calm himself. “I hope your right.”

“I know I am, have I ever been wrong? Have I ever lied to you?”

Tony let out a watery laugh. “Yes. Many times: you have lured me into more meetings than I can count.”

“That’s true. But I have never been wrong, have I? I know what I’m saying Tony. He’ll make it. We won’t let him do otherwise.”

“Okay”

“Good, now I have to go, the plan is about to take off, but I should be there in about seven hours. Don’t forget to breathe Tony, don’t drown in things that haven’t happened.”

“Okay,” Pepper hung up and Tony just stared at the phone. “Okay,” he repeated to himself quietly. “Okay.”

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for reading! Please do leave a comment bellow as it is the fuel for starved writers.
> 
> Visit me on instagram @tonystarkismyreasontolive for behind the scenes, rambles and updates
> 
> (,,,,and the occational art)


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